A Fear Nobody Talks About: Being a singer who is afraid of people hearing them sing.

Can it be classed as a fear? Is it not a tad "over the top" to say that someone is "afraid" of people hearing their voice? What's with all the quotation marks huh?

We can scared to be vulnerable, to open up, to speak our mind, and so doesn't singing literally encapsulate all of that and more?! Yeah, sod it, we can call it a fear and we can say that singers can be afraid of people hearing them sing.

Now that's answered, I suppose the next question is "why?" or even better "how do we get over that?" she's getting serious, the quotation marks are back.

The why, is going to elicit a different answer in each of us. When I think about the times i've wanted to bury my voice away from others, it's been the result of me enjoying, or really loving the actual feeling of when I sing. It's almost like, the better I feel about it, not even how I sound, but how I feel when i'm singing, is also when I can't let anyone else hear me, in worry they may think I sound crap. And then that means....well what exactly...that my feeling of happiness isn't valid? I'm going to go down a rabbit hole that I have no clue how to get out of - but there's something in that rambled thought.

Why are you afraid, imaginary singer who is reading this, of people hearing you sing? What scares you from letting others hear your voice?

judgement

embarrassment

looking silly

sounding silly

being a perfectionist

being a bad singer

All of the above.

How can we get over all of those intense feelings? If someone says to journal, I swear...well I won't actually do anything, but that can't be the answer to everything!

What about if you micro dose singing in front of others so the embarrassment slowly fades? What does that even look like - inconspicuous singing in the grocery store, humming whilst walking to the fridge at work, singing all your texts out before you hit send... actually, maybe yeah. The first 2, not the last 1 - that would require a level of songwriting and melody composition that you may not be comfortable with yet.

But micro dosing could be a real thing.

Or, the complete opposite...total exposure therapy! Sign up for all the local open mics, karaoke the hardest song you can sing, arrange a mini performance in the living room in front of friends and family... it will be different for each singer.

But one thing that would be enormously helpful for every single singer, is knowing your instrument. The ins and outs, highs, lows, how to work with it on a good day and on the bad ones - oh hang on, I've had a realization...working with singers so that they feel total control over their voice is one of the reasons I absolutely love being a vocal coach. No lie, I feel stupid this hasn't come to me before now. But it is - there's something so fulfilling about seeing a singer who's struggled with confidence, high notes, stamina, you name it, and when they master it, when they know how to react to their voice in a way that only someone who has put hours, years of work into their craft - it' s amazing. Well it's more than that, but I can' t think any other words atm, it's like it transcends words...ha it's song! ok, enough, getting to corny/weird.

So, micro dosing, full exposure therapy, singing lessons...any other ideas? Maybe detachment, the whole "fake it till you make it" thing, or your alter ego...

Let's try something. Imagine a singer who's voice and performance of their voice you admire, truly love...how would they approach this dilema? Maybe that's what you should do right now - name that singer, imagine you are that singer, tackle this issue being that singer.

To anyone who is still with me, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. I'm also thinking I could maybe do a vocal workshop trying all of these ideas out with a variety of singers! hmmm, maybe.

Thanks for reading!

Try singing a tad louder this week, happy singing!

Lacy xx